Askhole

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.


So I have this friend, Ted, who is always asking me for advice on girls and relationships. I have no idea why, my love life is a wreck- those stories could fill a year of entries alone, I'll save those for another time. But, for some reason, some of my friends have always seemed to come to me with their problems. Honestly, I'm not sure why, do I look like I'm a good listener or something? Because, truly, I am the worst listener ever, but I try my best to pay at least half attention and give the best advice I can.

So, anyway, Ted. He is always coming to me for some sort of girl help. Now, I need to say this, he is a good friend of mine, but the boy over thinks things more than most girls! It usually starts with some scenario about a girl he met at a party or at work. Pretty much, if you are a girl, and you talked to him, he is probably going to want to ask you out, which then leads to him relaying almost everything through me in the hopes that it will be smooth. His theory is that by talking to and asking out as many girls as possible, he will eventually get lucky and hit it off for real with one of them. Not a bad theory. But when you are me, sitting behind the scenes, hearing about them all, it sounds like he is either a wannabe player- or desperate. In reality, I know that all he really wants is someone to love. Yes, that was cheesy, but isn't that most peoples' goal in life?

I sat with him through his relationship drama with his last girlfriend and told him to skedaddle because she clearly wasn't invested in the relationship anymore. He hung on, and of course, got kind of hurt in the end. We have all been there, heck, I was going through the same thing at the time and couldn't take my own advice. But I was right- as always.

He has shared stories with me every time he has met a new girl, and I could always tell right off the bat if it was going to be a bad news bears or hot mess situation and I would tell him what to do to avoid the drama. Did he ever listen to me?? No, of course not, that would have been too easy. Left me with good stories to laugh about though. He is finally starting to wise up and listen to what I tell him (it's about time!). I believe this will eventually pay off for him.

Although, every once in a while, I hear a situation that is bound to have a good tale and I want him to pursue it just so I can hear about it. Currently it is the fact that he hit it off with two girls at a party, but they are both friends so he figured he needed to choose one to pursue. Well, he asked his friend that knows both of the girls and was informed that the two girls might actually have something going on- between them. He already has a problem being attracted to girls who have boyfriends, well, now, he might have found himself into girls that already have girlfriends. I am waiting to hear the results of this one and I can't wait. I'm sure there will be many stories of dear Ted on here for me to share, what, with all the messages he runs by me before he sends them to girls to be sure he sounds smooth and all.

Anyway, moral of the story, listen to me when I give you advice about love. I have been through it all and don't mind sharing my thoughts and experiences because I would rather my friends just learn from my mistakes without making the same ones themselves so they can save their poor little souls the heartache that often follows. And my dear friends, when you don't listen to me and what I said would happen, happens, I reserve the right to tell you I told you so! In the most loving way possible, of course =D